1. Intro

I have a new roommate who’s a young up and coming player in the game. Girls are always coming and going from his room, well let me explain better. His girlfriend is this cute little sleepy head Asian broad with just the right amount of baby phat on her face. I’ve nick named her the left slant aka the inside slant, I mean if it’s true what they say about Asian women’s angling of their naughty bits. One morning she leaves then that night he comes through the door with this hot light skinned honey that looks like a Puerto Rican Tyra Banks minus the forehead. This other chick was sexy as hell.

2. Personals

Well last night I’m watching the hipster known as chuck trying to figure out his sexuality when I hear a knock on the door. I go look through the peep hole and it’s Left Slant. I open it up confused and ask if my roommate was expecting her (my playdar was going off). She replied yes. I go back to watching homo chuck when I notice another girl follow in right behind her, she gives me a sexy look and then it hits me….. OH SHIT, its Puerto Rican Tyra! Dude is so busted! Left Slant doesn’t even knock but kicks open the door like she lives there and say the most dreaded words that a man can hear come from a woman’s mouth, “we need to talk”. My heart was racing; obviously these two had decided to join forces to take the roommate down. Every player should keep a cyanide pill on hand for such a situation. In the event you get busted you take the pill and tell them both you’ll see them in hell rather than put up with the bitchfest they will soon be handing out to you.

3. Dating Classifieds

I haven’t had a girlfriend in a LONG time. But as I’ve grown in that time, I do know it’s pointless to have one if you’re going to cheat on her, girls hook up all the time why settle down if you don’t mean it. But if you do cheat the number one rule is this; never cheat on your girlfriend with a less attractive woman. Whoever you cheat on her with has to be as hot or hotter. Second rule is never ever bring the other girl back to your crib, nothing good can come of it. Last rule let the other girl know you’re in a relationship, making her an accessory to the crime. I put chuck on mute and my ears to the door. Here are snippets of what I heard…. LS: So all those times you said you were too tired to hangout, you were fucking her? Him: Not “all” those times LS: I did so much for you! I paid for you all the time we went out when you said you didn’t have any money. How do you think it made me feel to find out you’re taking her out to all these restaurants you never took me. LS: How do you think it made me feel that you went down on her and you never go down on me? I can’t believe you. Did you ever think about the fact I have to kiss those lips? How could you hurt me like that?

4. Online Dating

I can’t believe all the things I’m hearing. This looks bad. I kind of just want to jump in and scream, “fine, I’ll fuck one of you, then everyone will be even”! The Rican Tyra is just backing up left slant. She’s throwing out dates and times of hook ups and what he told her. Calling roommate a no good dog. Apparently they found each other through his myspace page, rookie mistake. I want to transfer some of my player negotiating skills to him, what I’ve done in similar situations back in my youf. Roommate then made his last stand like a man monologue and it went something like this….. Roommate: Listen Left Slant, Ima be real wich you. I liked you and I had strong feeling for you but honestly the last couple of months between us have sucked. We be chilling then you gotta drive all the way back to Alexandria for this or that (blame the distance). On top of all that you’re always on my case about everything (blame her, it’s her fault). And you Tyra, you’re a cool chick and all. I thought it was just a onetime thing and never knew it’d keep going. There was never any drama with us and when we chilled we chilled (compliment the hotter chick; try to save some for later). For real I’m sorry I hurt you left slant I should have handled the situation better (take slight accountability, but never admit to shit). But for real, this is whack how you two are coming at me with all this drama. I don’t need this, it’s whatever, you’ll can both bounce (blame both of them for making your life difficult, act like they’ve violated your trust and you’re hurt).

5. Final Words

I ran back to the couch acting like I didn’t know what’s going on. Left slant came out first sniffling. The hot Tyra who was more pissed than anything came up and said, “your roommate is a bitch, don’t trust him, but you’re kind of cute”. I responded with a, “um ok” And that’s why she’ll always be “the other girl”, hood rat status. But in the face of being busted my roommate went out like a soldier. He came out cracked open a beer and him and I laughed about the situation. It’ll be interesting to see which woman comes back first. The guy’s player force is that strong.